How the Light Gets In

by John, Aware volunteer

For years I’ve lived with my own depression. I think sometimes when you have been through something, it opens you up to others who are going through the same. Leonard Cohen sings in his song Anthem: ‘There is a crack, a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in.’ Like many of our volunteers in Aware, I know how lonely and small depression can leave you feeling. Having lived with my own hurt and vulnerability, it has helped me to empathise with many of our callers. I think, in fact, it is this experience that motivates me to reach out to others in their sadness, brokenness and feelings of worthlessness.

When I volunteer on the line, I know that many callers are vulnerable and lonely and maybe a little bit scared. I don’t have to have the answers to whatever they are going through, but being there, sharing our humanity and this sad and lonely place, we can help the caller find their way out. It can be easy to give advice, sometimes that almost avoids really engaging with the experience the caller is going through: It ties it up in a neat little package marked ‘problem solved’. It can actually be more challenging to stay with the caller, allowing them to cry and express their deepest pain. I don’t have to be strong or clever, that doesn’t matter to the caller. I just have to ‘be there’ with them until they find again their reason to carry on.

When I am talking with someone on the line, like all our volunteers, I never judge.  Very often when we are unwell we have already judged ourselves very harshly so I wouldn’t want to add to that. I try to create a safe space where the caller doesn’t have to put on a brave face and can just be themselves, knowing that we accept them as they are, and that being as they are, they are good enough. Even if the caller is feeling the smallest they have ever felt, I would like them to know by my being there that I think they are worth listening to and spending time with. I would like them to know that they matter.

What do I get from doing this type of work? Wouldn’t it be easier to go to the pub on the night of my slot and watch the football over a couple of drinks with friends?  I think volunteering opens our world beyond the TV and radio and our own worries. It is a very unique opportunity to make a difference to someone else’s life, someone who may feel that no-one else could possibly know what this is like.  The training for the helpline doesn’t put qualities in you that aren’t already there but it does help you to develop that caring side of you and the skills you need to help callers. This has really helped me in my relationships with family and friends outside of Aware and has improved the quality of those relationships. The newspapers and television news are always so full of bad news, and being part of an organisation like Aware with hundreds of other volunteers who are also there for the same reason, gives me hope that life in Ireland in 2011 isn’t just made up of all the bad stuff. I’ve made some very good friends through my volunteering with Aware and I can honestly say it has been a real privilege to be part of something that really makes a difference to so many of us who live with depression.


Thanks to John for sharing his story - if you'd like to share your own experience with us, just leave a comment below. If you're interested in getting involved with Aware, have a look at our Volunteering Opportunities.

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